"From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets, the name of the Lord is to be praised." Psalm 113:3

Monday, August 12, 2013

Addicted...


I am addicted to my iPhone.

There. I said it.

And while it sounds like the start of a good joke, or maybe a slight exaggeration, I'm pretty sure it's dead on true.

See, I know a thing or two about addiction. I grew up with an addict for a mother, and know, all too well, what that feels like to a child.

I know the pain of seeing a closed door, knowing that behind it she was feeding her addiction instead of feeding us.

I know the hurt of looking to a soccer field sideline for her, and seeing only the empty space.

I know the loneliness, the fear, and the emptiness of wanting a Mom and having everything but one.

And while I've never touched drugs, or cigarettes, and have a drink just once in a while, I am guilty of addiction.

I am on my iPhone constantly.

I check Facebook at red lights, people. While my teen is sitting beside me, watching everything I do.

I take a quick peek at email during spelling lessons with my Firefly.

I scroll through blog posts when my son is trying to tell me about his latest matchbox car race, and I am only half-listening to him.

I am the Mom on the soccer sidelines, but I am reading things on my iPhone, about other families, instead of watching mine.

I'm telling you, it is All. The. Time. And my kids are watching. And seeing. And copying.


"No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money." Matthew 6:24

While its not about money, I can no longer serve God, and my family, AND the digital world that my iPhone represents. I need to cut the cord. I need to face and beat my addiction.

And it's hard. Really, really hard. Harder than I thought it would be.

Today is the second day after I came to a 2:00 in the morning realization (revelation) and I'm struggling. It's ridiculous, I know. But it's true. It's REAL.

This is going to be a journey. And I'm going to share it with you, if only to work it out in my own head. But I have recognized my addiction. And I am fighting it.

"For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." Matthew 6:21


I want God in my heart. I want my kids and husband to know they are in my heart. These are the things that matter.

These are my treasures.

This post is linked up to The Homeschool Post's Blog and Tell...

7 comments:

  1. Love this Nicole! I think all of us struggle with our own form of addictions. You are not alone in the struggle.

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  2. Wonderful post! Such a good post for our society with all our technology.

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  3. So good that you recognized it and are working to change! :) This summer at the pool I noticed few parents noticing their kids because they were SO PLUGGED into their phones. It was so sad watching the kids yelling for their mom to watch them do this or that and one mom actually got frustrated at her daughter for interrupting even though she never noticed her in the hour they were there because she was on her iPhone. Another mom would look up every so often but it was only to yell don't run or stay away from the deep end but then she was too busy to see that they continued it-begging for her attention.
    My husband has bought me an iPhone twice and twice I asked him to return it because for ME I just know I would be SO tempted to check it too often and miss life at that moment. When I'm with my kids or chatting with friends I want them to have my attention. It drives me insane when I'm trying to chat with someone and their phones are sending them constant FB alerts and they are having to check it the whole time. I feel like I'm online enough when I am at home trying yo keep up with things. We are becoming so plugged in that real conversations seem to be fading away.
    I wish you luck as I know it's hard to not want to check in when it's something you are used to.

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  4. What a timely post - I'm sure many feel the same way. It's never too late to make a change - our children notice!

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  5. We all have our addictions....I have to say that I'm glad I don't have anything that requires a plan - if I don't have access to wi-fi then I can't check FB, email, Crew business, twitter, etc - which is a good thing. I have my struggles though - books being one.

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  6. I can relate. I have been known to look at my phone at red lights, and while pushing a grocery cart and while giving a spelling test. I have been trying really hard to keep it out of sight, but it isn't easy. What exactly am I afraid I am going to miss? I know that technology and even FB for me serves some purpose, but more often than not I give it too much power. Praying for you - and me!

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  7. Thank you all for the prayers and the thoughts. The first few days were easy, strangely, but I have slipped back into old habits. This is a much harder journey than I expected. Who knew it would be so hard? But I'm starting again...

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