Yeah, so I've been struggling with this for a while. I feel like I started this cool blog with some kind of a purpose, and over the year it's become much more of a hodge-podge, a reason for feeling guilty when I've not kept up with it as much as I think I should, a "what am I going to write about today?" drag, but yet a chance to show off some really cute pictures of my kids, ha!
But it's been bothering me--what do I want this to become?
What do I want to say?
What do I HAVE to say?
(And who's listening anyway?)--but that's a whole other post on self-confidence and friend choices...lol!
I've been praying about it, and wondering if God gives a lot of thought to blog posts, but then praying about it some more, anyway.
And one word keeps coming to mind:
I think, as women, as moms, as homeschoolers, we forget to be real.
We are trained to look like we have it all together, have it all under control, and smile as we slowly lose our sanity.
The Super Mom Syndrome, anyone?
After all, it's our job to know who likes what vegetables, to know which items are on sale at the store this week, to meal plan, to cook, to clean, to launder, to teach, to know how to make our math-hater learn math anyway, to know when our kids are due for shots (and which shots we think they need to have and why we think they shouldn't have them all or else we will be a bad mom), to know when our animals are due for shots, to know where that one, specific pair of soccer shorts is, to know our kids shoe sizes, to keep track of our husbands' schedules, to get everyone at the right place at the right time in the right clothes with the right equipment, and on and on and on...
And Heaven forbid if we have a job. (Outside the home, I mean).
Or an illness.
Or a special needs kiddo (or two).
I don't know (for sure) about you all, but I know I struggle.
It's not easy, and it's less easy when we surround ourselves with images of "those Moms"--you know, the ones that can do it all--they bake their own bread, with the wheat they grow and grind themselves (or without wheat, since it's not good for you--but I don't know what they would use instead), dressed to the nines with completely adorable and compliant (and brilliant--don't forget brilliant) children happily doing their chores straight off of their alphabetized chore list while repeating their memorized Scripture verses--etc....
These Moms are surely all over the internet (Pinterest much?), and some even seem to be around us IRL (in real life).
I'm not one.
I would guess most of us IRL aren't either.
And I would guess that once we started admitting that to each other, we would take some of the pressure off of ourselves.
So, here I go.
My blog is now about being REAL, in the hopes that it takes some of that pressure off. Off of me, off of you.
I know it's going to make me feel better. My wish is that I am not the only one out there who is ready to bust straight through the Super Mom stereotype.
(If I am alone out there, maybe you could just leave me a nice comment or two before you unsubscribe...)
This Is Me:
I am truly imperfect.
I yell at my kids.
I have days where I want to hide in my closet and cry.
Some days I do.
Most of my clothes come straight from Target clearance.
I could stand to lose about eight pounds.
I am obsessive about clean floors.
Obsessive not in a good way.
My kids rooms are almost always horribly messy.
I made sure we had money for a cleaning lady twice a month so I don't have to clean my toilets.
Yep, that means my toilets get cleaned only twice a month.
I love chocolate very, very much.
I have a beautiful, sweet 12 year-old daughter whose hormones are terribly out of whack right now.
Sometimes I really want to roll my eyes at her.
Occasionally I turn my back on her so I can.
I have a sensitive, sweet 10 year-old daughter whose entire sensory system is terribly out of whack, and probably always will be.
She is a daily challenge.
I feel like a horrible Mom for some of the things I've said or thought about her.
Some mornings I have a hard time greeting her with love.
I have a smart, sweet 6 year-old son that I think I might be spoiling rotten.
I have a wonderful, hard-working husband that I give a hard time to sometimes.
I forget to thank him for all he does for us.
I love him with all of my heart.
I let my kids eat McDonald's.
I hate teaching math almost as much as my daughters hate learning it.
I don't like to do arts and craft projects.
I wish I had more time in the day.
I like to work out, and I hate to work out, all at the same time.
I could be a better friend.
I am worn out a lot.
I am a "Baby Christian"--still new to this and still learning what it means to have a REAL, personal relationship with Jesus.
Sometimes I forget to turn to Him first.
I am trying.
I am passionate about trying.
And I am passionate about REAL.
So, that's me. Not all of me, of course, but we have to start with little baby steps, right?
From now on, here, in this spot, what you see is what you get.
And it feels pretty good!