"And then Jesus said, 'He who has ears to hear, let him hear'." (Mark 4:9)
I've not been feeling so great lately. Not really on the top of my game.
Much stressed out.
Way too busy.
A little bit sorry for myself.
Nothing really definitive--just the regular too-busy-can't-catch-up-why-are-my-kids-so-irritating-sometimes-Firefly-having-a-horrible-day-everyone-needing-me-at-once kind of doldrums.
And I haven't been able to figure out why it was all getting to me so much. It all is, after all, the same kind of craziness that has become our normal.
Usually I can handle it. Recently, not so much.
And, then, I was in the shower this morning (no, this isn't going where you think it might be going--I just get most of my quiet-thinking-time when I am in the shower, lol!), and I was doing that feeling-sorry-for-myself thing--really, really well, too!
And I heard it.
Really heard it.
Doesn't sound like much, does it?
After all, it is just one simple word.
But I've been wondering about God hearing my prayers, about how I know if I'll know when He's trying to get my attention. How can I pray every morning for God to direct our paths and our homeschool day, but not know how I'm going to know the answer?
How can I pray for guidance but not know how I will get it?
How can I encourage my children to pray, but not know what to tell them to do AFTER?
I'm not listening.
I'm not listening to my kids, when they are telling me their stories.
I'm not listening to my husband, telling me about his day.
I miss appointments, thinking I wasn't told about them.
I was told. I just wasn't listening.
I'm not listening to friends when they call. Not TRULY listening, with a generous spirit and open heart.
I am putting off some phone calls to difficult-ish (or just lonely) relatives because I don't want to listen to their upset.
I'm not listening.
I'm not listening to God, most of all.
He gave me ears to hear, but I am not hearing.
I heard it today, though.
I'm ready to hear.
I'm listening now.